We were having a drink after work. My sister's friend mentioned something about being out of the office during the first week of August for jury duty. I said something about how unlucky she was to be picked. My comment was made out of sympathy for the girl and I expected some in-kind response like "Yeah, it sure does suck" or "Yeah, I'll just suffer through". What I got instead was a stone-cold, eat-shit look from hell. If I had said something horrendous about sleeping with her mother, I doubt her look would have been uglier. This completely threw me off balance. In the few moments it took me to recover from her icy silence, she turned to my sister and started going off on "those idiot liberals" who have no civic pride and feel no responsibility to contribute to the community at-large. What the...?? At this point I was completely flummoxed! Before I could explain myself, my feelings about making decisions affecting another person's life, my position regarding "civic pride", blah, blah, blah... She whipped around on her bar stool as if to leave in a huff. But instead of making a dramatic exit here's what she accomplished:

1. Knocking over her martini glass and my sister's beer glass shattering both all over the bar and wetting the bartender and my sister with liquor.

2. Flinging her purse off the back of her barstool across the pool table
knocking several balls out of play.

3. Catching the heel of her slingbacks on the rung of the barstool and
landing one foot on the floor in an ungraceful, unintentional splits.

4. Falling face forward into a push-up position because, really, the human
body is not designed to do the splits.

5. Broad, giggly smile on my face.