Go Away

My cat...,

...was brought into my life by coincidence. I did not seek her out, she sort of found me through a woman at work who was in a pinch.

...is much needier for attention than most dogs. How un-cat-like!

...irritates me when she shadows me so closely I trip over or step on her.

...is the hairiest beast I've ever had the displeasure to know. I wonder if anyone would buy these furballs to make wigs or spin into yarn?

...has never learned how to cover her poo in the box so when I come home the house stinks.

...tracks litter all over the house, including the bed. Gross.

...becomes downright violent when she's "playing" so that my hands and arms are usually healing from some scratch or puncture. Good thing she's had shots.

...hurls herself wildly around the house so that my downstairs neighbors think a herd of cattle are stampeding in there.

...gets into one of her "moods" and leaves me poo presents in the corners of the rooms.

What is loveable about this animal? Clearly, very little. Would anyone like a cat?